CHANGE
Stepped on scale and I am 250lbs. That is how heavy I was when full term pregnant with Paige.
I am beginning to want to change.
I know I can loose weight with WW, but what do I do once I've lost it? Do I track points my WHOLE life??
I am going to make a change. Just need a plan and a time frame.
I am 75% ready in my mind. I don't want to work hard, but I see the scale climbing. If not now when? What's the cutoff? 300lbs?
I don't care what I look like, I'm not frustrated. I want to be healthier. I don't want to have hip pain at 33 years old.
What's next, a hip replacement at 50? That's not right. How can I enjoy my golden years with my true love Darren?
FEELINGS
I am going to talk to my doctor, get some referrals for counselling. I think I pretend to be "cool" with "things" to try and convince myself I am, but I think I need to work things out, really deal with them. That is what I'm hoping anyway.
Deeper feelings about my father, mother, sister, brother....all the relationships I feel burdened by. How that affects me. How I convince myself I'm okay...maybe I'm not?
I feel fine about things, but if I sit and evaluate I just cry. That tells me I haven't come to terms with so many things, I just avoid them and have adapted myself to forget, to cope.
I feel selfish, I have a great life. I don't feel worthy of investigating and dealing with my emotions. I feel selfish for considering it when everyone has worse problems than me.
Man...getting this out FEELS good.
Going to ponder my plan for a healthier me. That is where I'm at. Physically AND Mentally.
For ME.
TEMPLE
I think I am at the point I want to do what I can to start treating my body like a temple. I want it to be around for a very long time.
I want to do what makes me happy and healthy. I was convinced that chips and McD's made me happy. I evaluated yesterday and realized that I am addicted to food. I really have to switch (somehow) to looking at it as fuel for my temple.
I AM a goddess
I AM beautiful
I AM worth living, and loving my life.
Stepped on scale and I am 250lbs. That is how heavy I was when full term pregnant with Paige.
I am beginning to want to change.
I know I can loose weight with WW, but what do I do once I've lost it? Do I track points my WHOLE life??
I am going to make a change. Just need a plan and a time frame.
I am 75% ready in my mind. I don't want to work hard, but I see the scale climbing. If not now when? What's the cutoff? 300lbs?
I don't care what I look like, I'm not frustrated. I want to be healthier. I don't want to have hip pain at 33 years old.
What's next, a hip replacement at 50? That's not right. How can I enjoy my golden years with my true love Darren?
FEELINGS
I am going to talk to my doctor, get some referrals for counselling. I think I pretend to be "cool" with "things" to try and convince myself I am, but I think I need to work things out, really deal with them. That is what I'm hoping anyway.
Deeper feelings about my father, mother, sister, brother....all the relationships I feel burdened by. How that affects me. How I convince myself I'm okay...maybe I'm not?
I feel fine about things, but if I sit and evaluate I just cry. That tells me I haven't come to terms with so many things, I just avoid them and have adapted myself to forget, to cope.
I feel selfish, I have a great life. I don't feel worthy of investigating and dealing with my emotions. I feel selfish for considering it when everyone has worse problems than me.
Man...getting this out FEELS good.
Going to ponder my plan for a healthier me. That is where I'm at. Physically AND Mentally.
For ME.
TEMPLE
I think I am at the point I want to do what I can to start treating my body like a temple. I want it to be around for a very long time.
I want to do what makes me happy and healthy. I was convinced that chips and McD's made me happy. I evaluated yesterday and realized that I am addicted to food. I really have to switch (somehow) to looking at it as fuel for my temple.
I AM a goddess
I AM beautiful
I AM worth living, and loving my life.
Good for you, girl! I'm still following you and behind you all the way! Hugs.
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